Her First Pet

 Early this morning, my baby had her first experience of death and for me, it was the first time witnessing those final moments. Hopefully, the very last.

We woke up to find her pet bunny, whom she fondly named Sherry Pops, lying helpless in her cage. A position we had never seen before. She was breathing heavily, and for a brief moment I felt a little relief, thinking it might just be an illness, especially since we had not noticed any signs of her being unwell in the previous days. But as I watched more closely, trying to figure out how to help, I noticed her struggling to breathe, her body shifting while she passed stool. With the little knowledge I have of what happens when a soul departs, I instinctively began reciting “Laa ilaaha illallah.” Honestly, I didn’t know whether it would mean anything for an animal, but I felt compelled to say it, hoping that somehow, hearing it might ease her pain until she stopped breathing .

Breaking the news to my daughter was incredibly difficult, and watching her reaction broke my heart even more. I thought that as a child she might not fully grasp the finality of death, but she cried so deeply. Her grieving came in waves. From tears to blaming her father for not watching the bunny-care videos she had asked him to, to questioning why we didn’t get two bunnies like she wanted, and why we never considered taking Sherry Pops to a vet.

We used the moment to explain death to her and remind her that Allah does as He wills. We tried to help her understand that no matter how much we loved Sherry Pops, Allah loved her more, and even if we had done everything she wished, when it is time for a soul to leave, nothing we do can stop it. She had an exam and we worried the sadness would weigh on her day. But, as children often do, she found comfort quickly. We gave her something she loved and it helped lift her spirits before school, though the sadness returned when she came back home.

Knowing how deeply one can be affected by the loss of a pet, I’ve always avoided having any after caring for some abandoned kittens in the past who died a few weeks later, until we had Sherry Pops. Now, I’m the one feeling down because she’s no more and I’m being warned that if I let it affect me too much, we won’t be permitted to have another one. I couldn’t help but share a tear. 

How do those of you with pets deal with their losses? This is my second time and it feels terrible. I’ve been questioning myself for perhaps, not doing well enough.

POLYGAMY, INTENTIONS AND THE CONSEQUENCES WE OFTEN IGNORE.

 I’ve had only one major concern about polygamy and as the years go by, it keeps growing. Nearly 98% of the polygamous marriages I’ve witnessed or read about online seem to unfold in ways that are ugly, unfair, and carried out with little to no fear of Allah.

Time and again, I’ve found myself explaining to non-Muslims and even some Muslims, that a man does not need his first wife’s permission to marry a second or third wife. Islam does not require her approval. What it requires is truthfulness, sincerity, and the utmost respect when informing her of his intentions. And yes, sometimes that news is met with intense emotions, resistance, and an entire brouhaha about why he shouldn’t proceed.

But a man whose intentions from the very core of his being, are rooted in truly loving and fearing Allah will not be derailed by emotional storms. He will handle the process with peace, clarity, and integrity because obedience to Allah is never built on deceit.

Unfortunately, that’s where the real problem begins: when men are met with all the fire their first wives have; fire they knew existed and fire they never imagined, many often resort to doing things the wrong way. Some don’t even bother informing their wives at all. Instead, she is suddenly visited by elders from his family and told, only then, that he is already married. 

And this brings me to the deeper concern.

I understand that women can become extremely adamant in their resistance to second or third wives. But before a man decides to simply dismiss what he calls her “tantrums” and do as he pleases, shouldn’t he look beyond himself and the two or three women involved?

For the men who go ahead and marry secretly, have you ever paused to look past your desires and reflect on the future you’re shaping? Have you ever considered the decades or lifelong enmity you ignite by taking one major decision without proper procedure?

How does it feel knowing you now have two or three wives who may find each other utterly despicable? How do you explain to Allah that, because of your lack of good judgment, honesty, and communication, you created two families that cannot see eye to eye?

How will you explain to the children born into these marriages why their mothers avoid each other like enemies? Why the atmosphere around “siblings from the other side” feels tense and uncomfortable? 

At best, while you are alive, the children of these women will acknowledge that they share a father. But the moment you die, that’s when the real enmity begins. Passed down effortlessly into the next generation as an inheritance nobody asked for.

At the end of the day, Polygamy itself is not the problem. The lack of sincerity, transparency, preparation, and fear of Allah in practicing it is what destroys homes, shatters trust, and plants seeds of lifelong hostility. A man who truly fears Allah will never build a marriage on silence, secrecy, or shortcuts. Because what begins in deceit rarely ends in peace. If only men knew how much damage one hidden marriage can cause. If only they understood how deeply their silence can wound. If only they realized how long the hatred lasts after they are gone, perhaps, they would think twice. Perhaps they would fear Allah more than their desires.

Polygamy demands maturity, fairness, and God-consciousness from everyone involved. The man, the first wife, the later wives, and the extended families around them. When any of these qualities are missing, the entire structure wobbles. This is why the only polygamous homes that truly succeed are those where communication is clear, respect is maintained, and Allah remains at the center of every decision.

May Allah guide our men to uphold justice, guide our women to respond with wisdom, and guide all of us to approach marriage in whatever form, with sincerity and taqwa. May we create homes that are built on truth, not tension, on faith, not fear and in sincerity, not secrecy.

Because at the end of it all, every decision you make becomes a legacy for the next generation. Whether you intended it or not.

As posted on Facebook on 11th Dec, 2025.