Growth!

As many great minds have said, "It is only a fool that never changes his mind." As you grow, you understand how trivial some things are in the specifications and or perspectives of a huge lens. 

You embrace those you perhaps, faulted and chastise yourself for being young and unwise and vice versa. You accept that you aren't just human but they are too. You respect people's efforts at their own growth within their own paces just as you allow yourself to mature in your ways.

Yes, mistakes do not define you but they should shape your thoughts and deeds. They are mistakes purely for humane reasons. Allow yourself and others to grow.

And while you are still striving to be an awesome being, find what gives you peace and enjoy your life.

DEAR SINGLE LADIES

DEAR SINGLE LADIES,

Live life to the fullest.

Do not equate marriage with success. Live your life as luxuriously as you can in its single form. That’s the only sure way to live luxuriously as a married woman. The way you live your single life is what will transform into being married.


As a married woman, there are days you’ll find yourself in situations that require courage, pure faith, astute strength, absolute confidence, psychological will power and all the accolades you can gather as a woman. If you manage to do all these and keep your head up, marriage will be a walk in the air for you.


Do not bother waiting for marriage. Let marriage come to you. Some of the men these days are not serious. Enjoy your life as much as you can by doing all the things you love and all that makes you feel whole.


If you wish to dress like a married woman, please do me the honors. If you want to wear seductive lingeries in the confines of your room, please be my guest. If you wish to go on a one woman honeymoon, by all means, make it pleasurable for yourself. Let no person make you feel inadequate because you have no man to ‘complement’ you. Don’t allow them to make mockery of the choices you make. A man is just another human being created by God. Let God lead his way to you. 


Let not those who think dressing up like a married woman gives you some form of status in a society, get the better part of you. What gives you status is your state of mind and your beliefs. What gives you status is how you carry yourself and live a worthy life. What gives you status is the pride you feel when you look into the mirror and see a copy of your lovely self.


Dear single ladies, 


 If you wish to attain educational and financial heights, please do not let the devil in any chauvinist shroud stop you. Do it for your own sake. Do it for the progeny or Ummah that will come through you. Do it, to pride the God that created you. Oh yes, Do it and enjoy the blessings that come with it. 


Do not let the siblings of spite, vengeance, show off and the ‘all inclusive’ push you into attaining heights that you have no business with. Be humble in your quest for knowledge, remain sincere and straightforward in your thirst for financial independence. And while at it, love every phase that comes with its growth. 


In the event that you lose yourself or feel down trodden, take a pause to rejuvenate, be courageous enough to pick yourself up, dust up, press the restart button, or continue from whence you left off. Remember, you can only be proud of yourself when you prove to be better to your own self. You are a powerful force on your own. And that’s resilient enough! The man that comes to meet this, if he’s worth it, will love every bit of you for it. 


Dear single ladies,


Be passionate about courtesy and build on your character. Character is not what you pretend to have. It’s who you truly are and that’s what will take you to places including keeping your future home. Please do not be complacent; build on it and live a life worthy of emulation. Strive to live God consciously. Strive for your own peace of mind. Strive to make yourself happy. That’s a sure way to have peace and contentment as a married woman. 

Live life to your fullest.

Sincerely yours,

Miss A.F.A - A tried and tested source. A living testimony of all that’s written. Another Product of Allah’s Mercies in abundance.

AGING...

Ever held the hands of the sick, the old, bedridden or a dying person?

My father was an astute sports man but none of it showed when he got bedridden for nearly 9 months at the hospital. An accident had left him frail, weak and unable to move most of his limbs without help. When you touched his hands, arms, legs or any part in order to wash or help him move, it felt old, weightless and nearly lifeless. Worse case, his situation ‘smelled’ to me like a pain that had probably come to stay. I was young then, so I never thought or hoped beyond him getting better. So his death, like many others, shocked the living out of my then 15 years old body. I had to fake tears.

My grandfather, actually my grand uncle, one of my favorite people to live, was quite the tallest, most energetic and caring man I knew. The cotton softness of his palms, the weakness in his bones and his inability to walk without a support always reminds me of the memory of him I keep. One of him walking gracefully to me in Senior High school with some food stuff in hand. Apart from an Aunty, he was the only one who ever came to check up on me in school. He was and has always been my hero and holding his hands, kneeling and talking to him now, only breaks my heart. His voice is weak, his movement is slow, old age caught up with him while we were not looking. Him telling me about how he now remembers having felt burdened when he had to take care of his own father in his kind of state, made him feel like he was a terrible son, made me shiver. Life caught up with him while we were unbothered!

My step grandmother whom I have always known as a beautiful woman lays nearly lifeless. Fair, not tall and not very short with beautiful hair and a great figure. She has been in bed for a while now and can hardly even blink. Touching her, kissing her face, smearing du’as all over her body, made me lose sight of the world in which we live. And this makes me regret all the days I declined eating the tz she’d cook whenever I visited. As we frantically searched for our purposes in life, we did not see this coming our way.

These days, I like to think that I’m old. At least, old enough because I see my child and I’m reminded of the ages where I only could talk to my mother and aunties by raising my head up. I like to think that I’m old because of my own collection of experiences in life. But even while assuming this, I’m hit by a deep realization of ‘How did I even get here?’ A sober reflection of The Who I am, what I am, where I’m from, where I'm headed, only brings to mind, FOR WHAT PURPOSE WAS I CREATED? If I do not die any time soon, how do I walk hand in hand with life so it doesn’t catch me unguarded?!

As Muhammad Ali has said, “Old age is just a record of one’s whole life”. How well do you live your days?! Do you live them in appreciation of being blessed with that day? Do you live them in glory and with the knowledge that if you do not die any moment soon, you will be happy with a life well lived? And in your hustle and bustles, do you pause and carefully look at your reflection in the mirror and see that you are different from what you were before? A character or personality build up? 

That’s your old age catching up with you. If you haven't, take a day and visit any old folk. Any sick person. Pray for them and have them pray for you. Then while at it, LOVE AND RESPECT OLD AGE BECAUSE YOU ARE AGEING TOO AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT...