THE OLD AND DEMENTIA/ALZHEIMER'S

During a brief errand, I visited a home I'd known for six years and left deeply affected. The head of the household, who used to recognize me as "Ayisha, so and so's wife," would inquire about my family and engage in heartfelt Hausa conversations. He was one of the few individuals in that household with whom I could comfortably converse in Hausa. However, today, the effects of dementia or Alzheimer's have left our connection fragmented and me shattered.

This year, as an ailment had consumed him for two long years, his speech had become slurred and significantly delayed. It took considerable time, and sometimes even his recognition was uncertain. Our usual simple conversations had become impossible, as he struggled to articulate words, leaving me standing there in bewilderment. I turned my attention to his wife, who had grown thin and frail from caring for him throughout these challenging years. This was just one of the numerous heartbreaking scenarios I've encountered.

It's incredibly distressing to witness individuals who used to warmly mention your name and embrace you whenever they saw you now struggling to recognize or remember you due to the gradual deterioration of their memories and essential mental functions caused by a disease. Many in our societies have faced similar challenges and regrettably been unfairly stigmatized. Whenever I encounter such situations, I can't help but fear for my own old age, if I'll ever live to see it.

Today, during my Eid Reflections, I choose to dedicate my thoughts to those who are battling to maintain their health. I remember the countless family members who stand by their side, providing unwavering support during their time of illness. These individuals often endure physical, emotional, psychological, and financial strains in caring for their loved ones.

May all of us, including those facing these challenges, find peace and tranquility in every aspect of our lives, wherever we may be in the world. May the trials we endure today return to us on the Day of Reckoning as accrued blessings beyond measure.

And I pray that as we navigate our daily lives, we take moments to offer prayers for those who cross our minds, extending kindness and empathy to those in need.

Eid Mubarak! May Allah accept from us. Aameen.

Death Should Make Us Reflect

In our times, if you attend an Islamic funeral, the best for you, a striving believer, is to sit far from people if you want to reflect upon death and be reciting your zhikrs. At first, I thought you only had to stay away from those you know but it seems you'd simply have to stay away from nearly all human interactions. 

People gossip while the body is still warm and yet to be buried. People laugh, even louder while the dead is being bathed. And people swear and cuss without realising that they could be the ones waiting to be prayed upon.

And when it's decided that the third day will be observed as a 'du'a' day for the dead, people troop in just to fight over rabbo (gifts) and food shared at the funeral grounds. The rabbo was initiated in order to serve as sadaqa (or continuous charity) on behalf of the dead (as I recall growing up) but it has now lost its relevance. People fight over it right at the funeral grounds and others get pissed at the person sharing them for either not giving them some, not giving them enough or not letting them have what they wanted from it. Some of the rabbos are even preserved for 'protocols'. Protocols, even at the funeral.

Our people shout for people to make merry at our funerals. We pridefully eat and enjoy while laughing heartily with the bereaved. People actually have fun at funerals these days.

In all of this, I ask myself, Who Are The Company You Keep? Do you have a family that upholds Islam even in death?! Do you have friends that have sense? Forget about who will cry; Who will genuinely pray for you when you die and continuosly remember to do so?! And how are they going to send you off?!

May Allah guide us and the entire ummah. The people supposed to live Islam are scarier by day.