Friday 15 March 2013

STOP PRAYING FOR A GOOD SPOUSE

It's funny how whenever our parents (mothers especially) pray for us and say "May God give you a very good and religious spouse" and our usual response is very quick, "Aameen". Most often, it's not even this small but big and long "AAAAMMMEEEEEENN!!!” Hm. My mother once said the prayer (as she often does) and I answered "Aameen! But please make sure that I’m also a good and Godly spouse to make a perfect match". She could not utter a word. Now, here's the logic:

Young men and women pray and hope for a good spouse. It is called, the "marriage material". However, good comes in different forms. Depending on who's talking. Good could be rich and handsome. Good could be sincere and religious. Good could also be faithful and Godly. But in all these and more, I know the moment that prayer is uttered from parents, family or friends, we all think of all the good that can exist in man (a problem-free and problem-less individual).

But then if you pray for good and you are not good yourself, is that fair for the marriage material you are praying for?! It is said that charity begins at home but in this 21st century, I believe charity begins "with the self". Our parents have already done their parts in raising us. And due to schooling (both formal and informal), work, friendships, etc, we pick certain lifestyles and habits along the way. Our parents and family at this stage have little to do to mold us. We have to identify the bad from our own personalities and correct them.

You are specifically responsible for beautifying your character. You do not have to wait for someone to come and change you (as if that is entirely possible). Do not let someone's son or daughter suffer because of your ugly character. If you have certain bad habits (which we all do), please correct it and strive practicing the good before praying for a good spouse or as we so blatantly put it, "marriage material". Or else, I doubt if your prayer will materialize because you want someone's daughter or son to go through "hell" by marrying you. Is that fair?! Act up and you will have your prayers answered, if God Permits.

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